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|Circulation: 4,940,000||Sunday, May 19th, 2013||¥60|
Angel of Doom Around the World!!!
"Chise" is set to wreak havoc around the world. And unfortunately, there isn't much the people can do about it.
By Anonymous Coward
Special to the New Times
OKINAWA— Thousands of people fled their homes in Okinawa today as "Chise", a major asset of the Japanese SDF, defended the nation against foreign invaders hoping to ruin Japan's peace.
Unfortunately, Chise, also referred to as the "angel of destruction", has also allowed the towns she defends to be levelled to the ground. While millions have died from the attacks by invaders, many more have also died from the countermeasures that "Chise" has taken to defend the people.
It has been said that Chise's objective is to defend her home city of Hokkaido, but it seems that in defending her home city, she has left the rest of Japan to turn into a smoking crater hole.
[See CHISE, Page 11]
Wedding of the Millennium!!!
The marriage of Keitaro and Naru is proof that dreams of romance can come true, even for the worst losers amongst us.
By Jason Nishi
New Times Staff Writer
TOKYO— Chime those wedding bells. The most unlikely couple in the world... is getting married!
Keitaro Urashima & Naru Narusegawa will take the solemn vows two weeks from today. Their unlikeliest of unions is the end result of years of beatings on Keitaro's part by all the residents of Tokyo's Hinata Inn girls' dorm.
So how is it possible that a loser amongst losers and a beautiful girl with an attitude could end up together?
More importantly, how could such a relatively unimportant story end up on page one of the Hokkaido New Times?
[See MARRIAGE, Page 14]
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Chise © Shin Takahashi/SHO • TOV • TFC • CBC. Keitaro Urashima & Naru Narusegawa © Ken Akamatsu • Kodansha / LoveHina Onsen Kumiai / TV Tokyo. Used w/o permission.